murphy-slaw's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phrase that Pays In an effort to keep up the spewing of fresh ideas from that squishy pink thing at the top of my neck (hint: rhymes with train) I thought I would try choosing a memorable phrase from my day, and telling a story around it somehow. I figured it couldn't hurt, and I might even discover a new avenue of untapped material. It's crazy, I know. Phrase that pays 8/16 6:30pm CDT: "I want to buy some organic cheetos so I can be beautiful like you." So there I was waiting for the train at the Paulina stop. (I am noticing a theme with weirdos and the train. It's like a magnet for freakazoids) There were very few people on either side - it was evening and I was doing a reverse commute and heading downtown. This random dude climbed up to the platform on the other side waiting for a train heading in the opposite direction, and upon sitting down, pointed his attentions at me. The conversation went something like this: Me: (opening bag of cheetos) Munch Munch "mmmmmmmm cheetos" Random guy on other side of tracks: My train's comin'! Me: ..... (pause - looking around for someone he might be talking to - then realizing he's talking to me) .....K! Random guy on other side of tracks: It's my train, not yours. I wish we were going the same way though. Me: ....K! (praising God that we are indeed NOT going the same way) Random guy on other side of tracks: Boy you sure are beautiful. How do you get so beautiful? Me: munch munch (sarcastically) Practice. Hard work. And Cheetos from Whole Foods! (happily shoves handful of cheetos into mouth) munch munch munch Random guy on other side of tracks: Wow I am going to start shopping at Whole Foods. I want to buy some organic cheetos so I can be beautiful like you. Me: munch munch (pause to contemplate odd statement) .....K! Random guy on other side of tracks: (staring intently across the tracks) You sure are beautiful. You must eat a lot of good organic food to stay so beautiful and have a nice body like that. Me: (getting uncomfortable) Um...yeeeaaaaaah, well I try to eat well um..... (shoving more cheetos into mouth) munch munch Random guy on other side of tracks: I wish you would come over here to my side and ride with me. Me: Ye-heah-heah good luck with that one buddy! (with gusto and almost singing) Hey look! Here's your train! It's time for you to go now! Bye Bye. Ok, bye bye. munch munch At which point he boarded the train and crossed to the other side of it so he could oggle me one last time before it left. Ew. I sat there and felt violated for a while, and then promptly hopped onto my newly arrived train which was mercifully devoid of freaks. At least it looked that way. As I did a mental inventory of what had just occured, I tried in my mind to give this guy the benefit of the doubt and just write him off as a little odd and eccentric. But the more I thought about it, the more I began to believe he probably had a dungeon in his basement, a box full of his mom's teeth, and a collection of his favorite spring dresses. -MS sez: It's not easy bein' cheesy 2:16 p.m. - 2006-08-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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