murphy-slaw's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - So, I'm a communications whore. I love language, and dissecting communication methods and other wordy smart sounding crap. I find the dynamic between the sexes especially interesting. Laura, please elaborate you say? We-he-hell, I'd be HAPPY to!
So an interesting dynamic (if that's what you want to call it) I've been tracking over the last few years is the one I see between gay men. In my experience, gay men tend to be much more aggressive with one another much earlier in the relationship than a man and woman in the same stages of a relationship. That is not to say that men and women can't or don't get as direct as quickly, but I think in general, they normally don't due to the intricacies of a womans "seduction requirements".
Anyway, it seems like as the gay culture* has evolved, the dance of seduction typically associated with men and women has been chopped down a bit. In some situations I think it's been removed entirely, or at least extremely economized. I wonder if it's because women tend to have more complicated needs when it comes to dating, relationships, and seduction? Said needs require more talking, cuddling, taking your time, etc etc. Whereas, at the get-go, a man's emotional needs may be less demanding, reducing the need for it in the seduction phase, thus freeing up the guy to get down to it, so to speak.
Getter DUN!
The reason I say any of this, is because any time I look at gay dating sites (the reason for my being there is another blog post all together), the men are almost always in a state of semi-nakedness and spouting proclamations about the size of their manhood. Rarely do I see a man fully clothed and talking about sports, art, or whatever he might be interested in. It's usually a picture of his chest, abs, and (depending on the site) his package. A friend of mine from school who came out after graduation has a myspace site and all but 2 of his friends are half naked guys. the ones that aren't half naked are women. I have thus used this fact to further support my supposition that gay men are more direct and want to get the emotional crap out of the way.
I'm fascinated by this. These gay men are essentially saying with their bodies "Hey, do you like me? I could like you! Let's (insert verb here) . Here are my abs to prove I mean it!" Does this mean men and women aren't doing the same thing with more round about myspace ads? Of course not! I am simply pointing out the difference in approaches.
And that makes me wonder how the hell lesbians ever get anything done? Seriously, if its two women who both want to go through the motions of seducing and being seduced, its double the amount of time before they get down to "good stuff". I imagine there are some pretty frustrated gay women out there.
Anyway, enough deep stuff. These are just thoughts and me sorting out some balls of yarn in my head. If what I have said has put a puff in your petticoat, feel free to enact social change by posting a few appropriately worded comments. NOT.
* - for purposes of discussion, the word culture here refers to men only 3:15 p.m. - 2006-05-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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