murphy-slaw's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Affecting world change through running I had a 12 mile run slated for Saturday morning as part of my marathon training. We were in G-field for a my cousin's "I eloped, but I still want presents" brunch. So, I got up bright and early at 7 am (6 am Chicago time) and headed out down the long country roads surrounding my folks' house. The last 2 long runs I have done have been brutal mentally. I just have not had the wherewithall(sp?) to do them, and in the first 20 minutes I have had to make all kinds of deals with myself to get myself 1 mile further down the road. At about the hour mark I was a little over 5 miles into it and FINALLY starting to feel ok. I told myself I would do 12 miles or 2 hours which ever came first. Yeah well, 2 hours came and went and I was still running. I ended up making deals with myself that at every mile marker I could walk until the next mailbox. That worked mentally but physically it slowed me down a lot and at 10.25 miles my legs were done. The conversation with my legs went something like this: Murphy's legs: Ok. We're done.... Murphy: Come on legs, there's only a few more...... Murphy's legs: Nope. Done.... Murphy: ....miles left, and we'll sure be glad we....... Murphy's legs: Done. Do you speak-a zee English? We're done! No more. Caput. End of run. Let's go home. Thank you and good night. Murphy: Sigh. Ok. But I reserve the right to finish the last 2 miles tonight! Murphy's legs: (giggling) Yeah-heah-heah. Right. Good luck with that. So, I didn't do my 12 miles, but got in about 10.25. I've been doing some checking and I have the option of pushing the funds that I have raised until this point to an event next year. I can even do a half if I want to. Sweet! It's weird. I just don't care about distance events anymore. It's like...I climbed to the top of Mt. Everest with Ironman, and now, everything else pales in comparison. And I know I am not going to do another IM, so what is the point? I don't want to give up, but I don't want to go forward either. I suppose that is the essence of putting things off. You never really quit, but you never do anything either. Hmmm... I feel like I am to the point in my life now where it's not about me anymore, and I want to do something to help other people. I can't really change the world by running, so perhaps this is a red flag that I need to move on to something else. Hmmmmm..... (pause) Hmmmmmmmm........ -MS is runnin' on empty... 9:50 a.m. - 2006-08-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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